..... .... ... .. . mimi

words from my heart...

i see soo much sadness in my life rite now. i been down the whole week,drinking,sitting down alone,doing nothing. i felt like running away to someplace no-one would ever find me. a place where i could forget all my past my present and my future. there neva was a chance for me to have another chance. another chance that i can change the past. i tot i was getting better in life. but in the joy appearing on my face, i've so much sadness that can never be erased. Sadness that bring me to a stage that i wanna end my life to make all my sadness go away. if i could i would. becoz my love to GOD is far far greater than anything in the world for me. i can neva be suicide-dal even if i wanted it so badly.

to noe that u're goin out with someone is hurting me. making me jealous. knowing u knew him at a club, makes me even more dissapointed. i wanted the best for u. but the best wanst enough. i'm trying to go on with life but it so damn hard to and u'll never understand. coz u're heart is as hard as a rock. enjoyment is wat u seek for. but for me, the future was wat i'm worried for, the future was wad i was preparing for. so u could have a good life. a great one. so i could fufill ur dreams of just sitting at home. not working. i was suffering to make that a reality. thats why i wanted to upgade myself,get more money. it was for you. but u didn't seem to understand. i was looking so high above the mountains but u were just looking down.wen i nearly reached the peak, u pushed me down and left me to die alone.

it was u.my favourite gerl in the world,the princess of my life. and i still can't take it into my heart, the words u say to me, the reasons u told me. i did it for you. and now my dreams becomes my nightmares which makes me awake everynite. it easy for u to ask me to try.but saying and doing is two different things.

but i never heard u say that u don't love me anymore.

it lingers in my mind if wen u're alone, if u ever think of me?

for the first time in my life. it seems that my life is so full of sadness. it seems to me that happiness comes just comes in a while,and doesnt stay for long. its the first time thats its so hard.

i realized that im a nobody. useless u can say. i didnt even fight for wat i wanted.
reality is that im just to dumb and stupid. im not rich,i dont have any good points in me.im not handsome.i don't have the looks. i don't have the brains. i dont have anything. i'm nothing.

so.. LIFE = sadness

memories will always be with me.and the hurt will never go away. coz u were my everything...

butu'll never ever understand wat i'm going thru..

i dont even noe if u even cared...

i love u Nur Shafawati...

if i have a choice who i would want to meet in HEAVEN..
it will surely be..

you...

this is a song i used to sing to u...
i loved wen u beg me to...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 // 9:24 PM